bersih a.k.a. clean..

when i was young..i used to listen to stories told by my late grandmother who told us about japanese occupation..

those days all the girls cut their hair short and mimic like boys..made themselves ugly by staining their face with charcoal and dirt..always stay at home to avoid meeting japanese soldiers..they were known to kidnap young pretty girls and rape them..those were the days where malaya was ruled by japanese..

then..came the war..british colonization and finally malaya obtained independence..

and formed malaysia..

i grew up knowing the leader of the country was tun mahathir..little did i know bout politics back then..

some people commented he was a great leader..some commented how corrupted he was..

the little girl in me did not bother to know in depth..

even now..i still do not have any interest related to politics..

my dad and aunties used to say we all should know a little about our own country politics..

so..yea..whether i like it or not..our school syllabus made history a compulsory subject..and somehow i knew more about how malaysia was formed and learned how to appreciate what the heroes did in the past..

then i came to know prime minister will change..lolz..the innocent me thought tun mahathir will hold the post forever..there is no need for election or what so ever..hahahaha..

till i grew up..he resigned..new pm took over..all sorts of political changes that i noticed..

maybe because that was the time where i started to read newspaper..ahhahaha..

propaganda on this leader committing this crime..that leader committing that crime..

open discrimination..(worse than gossiping..appears in all newspapers and website..=.=") some related to personal life..rallies to hand in memo..mini protest..etc etc..

it was only about 4 years i'm in kl..

guess my dad warned me 2-3 times not to go out on the respective days because of planned rallies..

the latest..bersih 2.0..

the usual me..never bother bout what is going on in politics..i never knew what was this rally about..

till i see people in facebook putting bersih 2.0 pic badge on their profile..

i took the initiative to read about it..and asked my friends who knew bout it..

then only i knew they wanted to hand in a memorandum to the king..

what is there to create a fuss just because of sending a memo?

just get the proposal done and send it in..even if they want to march and stroll along the street..make sure they don't cause havoc or trouble..

don't we have freedom of speech and action?

you may say i am naive and innocent who knows zero bout politics..

but that was what i was taught in school..

we live in a democratic country..all of us have the rights for democracy..

fair elections and freedom to choose..

what is there for police to block all the main roads and disrupt daily routine and hurting citizens when they claimed all the efforts were done to avoid disrupting daily routine and endanger citizens..

i had to stay home and kept monitoring the news for updates to know what is going on..

feared that i might be caught this morning just because i accidentally wore a yellow shirt to work yesterday night..(though a few mangkuk-fied drivers honk me for no reason when i was walking back..i was not even crossing the road and they honk me..@#$%)

fear to even go out for lunch/dinner..=.=

even planned to stock up food in case of emergency..

what if in the middle of them stopping our own citizens and injuring them, our country got attacked by outsiders?will they have enough manpower to overcome those attacks?

then..out of no where a group of patriots have another rally to show how patriotic they are..

guess saturdays should not be an off day since people misuse it to have rallies like this..

people who are not related should just go back home and be with their family members..visit their parents..spend time while they are around and not cry and regret when they leave..

petronas should come out with more family related advertisement to remind people.. 

appreciate the peace we have now..

stick on what real democracy is about and do it well.. 

 a true strong leader will win no matter what..

sigh..

inflation is going on..everything is so expensive..crimes in the country not reduced..education going downhill..

there are so many things more to improve..but little seemed to be done..

all i see is only power-crazy people..

sad and disappointed..

i do not wish to be back to the era where my late grandma had to stay at home..hiding underground..

(last time their house got underground room..now where got?want to hide also no where..>.<)

>.<

pray for peace..

------------------------------------

talking bout death and dying..

i attended a talk on death and dying to understand more bout it..

it was about the emotions felt bout the person who is dying and how family members react after receiving the news..

it was very interesting and i watched a movie, Go Towards the Light..

sad but it covers all the theory part of death and dying..

appreciate all you have..and people around you..

don't wait till its too late..

not everyone have a duration of time knowing when he/she will die..

sudden death do happen..

funny thing a doc said to me after seeing a bedridden poor prognosis popo..

doc - if i do admit into icu..don't save me and drag my life..let me go..

me - wa..cannot..how also i have to play my part and save people..

doc - no no..put it this way..treat me like how you wish to be treated..

me - *understood and i smiled* 

i don't think i want my life to be dragged too if i won't have a good quality of life..

just donate all my functional organs and let me go peacefully..

=)

do do mo mo kun kun...XD

have you heard of domokun?

or seen domokun plush toy?

this chocolate rectangle kiddo here...

some of my friends actually called this lil kiddo a pile of dunk because of its colour..

some called it ugly..

i find it attractive actually..

some how when i first saw it..it appears as an ordinary toy..

then later when i went to action city..and saw lots and lots of domo there..

somehow it attracted me..

since years back i already lost the desire to own plush toys..

(please don't waste money to get me plush toy unless i request..hahahaha)

but i don't know why..now i feel like having a domo..

not keychain domo nor lil pillow..i want a medium / big plush domo..

XD hahahha..

yea..weird..and i don't know why..

i have this as my phone wallpaper..

kekekeke

childish eh?

i found out domo appeared in a short stop-motion sketches which made him famous since 1998 in japan..

and these are few of its facts..

- "a strange creature that hatched from an egg"

- saw-toothed mouth that is locked wide open

- favorite food is Japanese-style meat and potato stew 

- strong dislike for apples because of an unexplained mystery in his DNA
 - communicate by producing a low-pitched noise which sounds somewhat like his own name

- known to pass gas repeatedly when nervous or upset

lolx..

saw-toothed mouth..that mouth gives an impression of anger to me initially..

but some were made it in a way its gives the impression like it is smiling..

hahaha..illusion..??

then i was thinking whether is there anything wrong with me or not after entering a shop in sunway...

i was looking for domo's price and then i walked around and i was stucked looking at smiley toys..

suddenly felt so bipolar..hahaha

a moment of an angry big mouth toy..next moment wide cute smiling toys..

lolx..

----------------------------------------------------------

in need of more positive vibes..

i have a lot of negative vibes around me..

imbalance..

>.<

end of attachment..

5 weeks passed..

surprisingly time passed so fast..

no..i should say time after work passed so fast..haha

somehow this 5 weeks of attachment was tiring..not that we worked a lot..

maybe because i stand a lot and idle a lot too..hhahaha

basically i stand and kept offering my help to the staffs there..

if not..they won't even let us get involve in what they are doing..

and i'll start yawning and falling asleep while patting the babies..>.<

some of the staffs have that tidak apa attitude and treat us as though we don't exist..

till we actually helped them..

and they became more friendly and willing to teach us..

so i can conclude that i actually see quite a lot of procedures and special cases..

in the end..the staffs are actually quite nice towards us..=)

normal routine care of critical babies - all sorts of ventilators - different management of cases - emergency resuscitation - normal resuscitation - tracheostomy in babies - bone marrow aspiration - lumbar puncture - medical-legal cases - poisoning - rape - cancer - post mortem in babies - last office (cleaning up deceased babies) - preterm babies management - etc etc..

i am grateful..and thankful that i have the opportunity to see all sorts of cases..

totally an eye opening experience..

somehow i feel i appreciate life even more when i see all the little ones struggle so hard to see the world..

and some are lucky and some were not..

may all the deceased babies rest in peace and all the sick babies get well soon..

may God bless them..=)

----------------------------------------

i am drowning..

going through another phase of life..

hopefully everything turns out well..

=)

gleek XD

finally i completed glee season 2..

wakakaka..yea..i know the finale came out somewhere 21st may..

i downloaded d soft copy that time..

but i have no time to watch till today..

weee..

falling in love with their songs again..

i thought "glee virus" died off in me d..

listening back to old songs from season 1 is kinda boring..

but season 2 songs from last few episodes are impressive..

hehehe..

now..another new song from new directions..

pretending..

if you still haven't watch yet, please do so quick..

because it is really cool..heheheh XD

ps : me sorry..i just remembered someone wanna copy from me..sorry..
will try to find a way to borrow you d hard copy..=)
i deleted d soft copy because i got new tvb drama coming to me soon..

need space for new series..heheh..

6 months more to go..

holla..june is around the corner..

2 months ++ without medical leave..

i shall maintain and keep this record this 31st dec..=)))

i believe in myself..and i promised i will take good care of myself..

for myself..

but i can't write guarantee letter that i won't fall sick.

just hope that it is not severe enough till i have to take leave..

i do feel a little abnormal here and there at times..

sore throat at times..lil runny nose at times..gastric problem..

and recently i have giddiness which i do not know why..with occasional diarrhea..

i sound so sickly right?

or maybe i am too observant of myself?hahha

i don't know..

anyway..i do not request for all the above to happen..

i admit last time during student time i wish i can fall sick and get leaves..yea..naughty..and i did not get any..

but this time i did not ask for it..and i just got it..twice..

(refer previous posts if you want to know what happened)

so i guess it did damage my immunity severely..=((

i wish i can do something to boost it up..

healthy diet...supplements..rest..i tried my best and still trying..

and some doinks who do not know how i feel might think i fake it or i seek for attention..

hahaha..i shall curse you to the max that you will go through what i go through..

yes..i am evil..my patience have a limit..thank you..

i sleep a lot because i feel tired..if i don't sleep enough..within days i will get all weird symptoms again..

ya..i am that weak..so what..??karma will hit you back..hmph..

i sacrificed my sleep for you and coincidentally i fall sick 

you teased me hard for not taking good care of myself..

i do not accompany you out you said i am evil..selfish..

fine..i shall just be myself..

i am not born to follow what others do..

take a mirror and look at yourself before talking about other people..

hahaha..sometimes i feel so proud of myself..

how can i stay in an environment with majority girls

work..home..college..school..

*give myself a pat on the back*

haha..ignorance..with patience..

oh..mind you..people do get angry with me because of my ignorance..

selfish konon because did not give much response..not enough attention to them..

but certain things are just pure bimbo..=.="

blah...~~

-------------------------------------------------------------

enough..i shall just take good care of myself..

rubbish can dump into waste bin..

and i won't pick up anymore..

currently i am posting in UMMC for attachment..

i do learned a lot there..

seeing babies and kids everyday..

it is either they were born with congenital disorders or they just acquired it..

saddening thing is i see so many schooling kids have this neurological problem where they go into coma stage..some with cancer...some with unknown cause..

it is just the beginning of their life..

they should enjoy their childhood and not staying in hospital for months and years..

all i wish for them is that they recover from all these and lead a happy life..

if not..please let them go peacefully..

may God bless them..

and baby twin who left the world this morning..

may you rest in peace..

---------------------------------------------------

i am hoping for the approval of my application to continue my studies in intensive care nursing..

hopefully i get it..

=)

----------------------------------------------------

oh ya..

congratulations to LAI YIN YIN and TAN SIEW LENG who officially graduated in their degree..^.^

and who ever that i missed out..hehee..

welcome to the working world..

i finally had to agree with a friend of mine who told me..

"friends who are working thinks differently from friends who are studying..eventhough same age.."

yea..now when i looked back and think..

what he said is true..hahaa...i am old..

most important is grow old gracefully...hahahahhaha

sounds even older..

i know..hahahahhah..

inner peace..i shall achieve my own inner peace..

kung fu panda 2 characters are cute and the story line comes with moral values..

if you can understand it..

=)

financial stress..

it has been weeks since i last updated my blog..

i am gonna whine all the way down in this long post..hahhahaha

if you are not in a good emotional state to read then i would advice you to leave first..

don't judge me and get frustrated just because of my post..

not worth it..

XD

ready?XD

okie..i have a very horrible budget this month..

everything seems to come to the end of life and additional expenses incurred without me expecting..

first..i am assigned for an attachment in UMMC for 5 weeks..

i am lucky to have my senior with me who drives..so she fetches me on daily basis..

except occasions where her bf needs the car..where he will drive us there..if he can't, we will have to take taxi..

to be fair to her..i paid her few hundreds for petrol and we shared parking fees..

*ka-ching*ka-ching*
food there is not cheap too..they have a lot of varieties in different food courts..

and some cashier just don't charge according to the price stated..hoho

maybe it was subjected to change without notice..hahha..

and with additional 6% gov tax.. =.="

then i was "cheated" into buying a crappy direct sales product by a doctor..

vitamin C which does not really help much..

initially i was told that it will be a sample for me to try..

see see..give me 1 whole bottle and told me the price..

and very obviously asking me to pay..

and it was not cheap..*ggrrr..*

then later told me if i don't want, i can return..even if it is already open..

problem is i have already eaten few tablets..

so i don't feel right to return back to her..

sigh..

i also have frequent short trips back home on weekends..

this is the only time for me to grab the opportunity to go back home to see my parents..

when i start to work back on shifts..i don't think i will get so many days off..

and sometimes i will rather stay in kl to sleep more..

traveling long journeys is tiring..

then my phone decided to die after a little "magnetic disturbance"

no la..it is just an excuse to make me feel better..

because coincidentally i was at MRI ante room (a room with lil magnetic field exposure)

and my phone went "cuckoo"..cannot detect battery charger..

system reset by itself..cannot be charged and cannot detect battery life..

it was not the first time system went haywire..

i sent that phone for repair under warranty for 3 times..

and now its the 4th..

so i decided to buy myself a new phone..

because it was beyond repair..i tried..

seriously the quality of phones of that brand is really going downhill..

and dad enforced and reenforced not to buy the same brand..hahha..

so i got myself samsung galaxy ace..

initially was torn in between galaxy mini and ace..

anyway..ace won the race..

people whom i consult all told me to get ace..hahahah

it comes with 2 cover..white and black..

but i prefer the black 1..the texture is different and looks nicer..hehehhe

like this..

heheh..

so far no complaints yet..

quite good..

only a big hole in my savings..

lucky i still have a little savings..

wait..now gone..

T.T

not forgetting..birthday month..

i have many friends and family birthday which falls on may..and december..

some are mandatory to give presents some not..>.<

mind you..i have no extra financial assistance..hhuhuhu

choose not to have..

people who don't know me always think i am kiam siap..

judge without thinking or analyzing..

if they have to go through what i go through..

i bet they will go borrow money from friends or get from parents..

hng..

not trying to say i am a good financial planner..

it is just that everyone have their own reason why things are done that way..

never judge a book by its cover..

never mind..i always believe in karma..

i sees how karma works and i have seen how some of them got double..

sound eerie rite?hahha..
sometimes feel so helpless till have to depend on karma..hahhaha

always be true to yourself and others..
like i have always said..treat others the way you want to be treated..
which also some of my friends think i am very silly to be kind to others..
which i don't think so..but they were once in their shoes..and they don't realize..
sigh..seeing many things in life made me think a lot..sigh..
sound so old and philosophical..

and latest misfortune..

my housemate accidentally banged my house gate yesterday..

gate damaged by the impact..luckily no one was injured..thank god..

that heavy metal gate will cause us a big hole too..

seriously thankful no one was injured because at the time of accident few of my housemates were outside just next to the car..

thank you so much god..

viva is a good solid car..
banged on a locked heavy metal gate still steady..hohoh..
bumper loose ne..

now i am dying for my next salary to be out..

this kind of economy with my current pay..i think i have to seriously reconsider my job..

but i love nursing..

sigh..

*may that baby have a peaceful journey* =(

life..

you know you over worked when 

you are searching for keys all over the place, digging your bag and pocket..

but to find it dangling on your index finger..

you know you over worked when 

you woke up in the middle of the night shocked assuming you are late to work..

you know you over worked when

you can't sleep back after waking up and keep thinking about work..

you know you over worked when 

you spend on nothing other than just food and drink...

mind you..not even delicious food or healthy diet..food to fill stomach only..

you know you over worked when 

you feel so tired after work and all you do was just sleep at home..

working life is horrible when you have no breaks..

----------------------------------------------------------------

honesty is the best policy..

do you know it does not apply to girls?

sorry and sad to say it..

but i have to admit it even i am a girl..

at times we rather people lie to us than telling us the truth..

because the truth hurts..

yup..but i still prefer people telling me the truth than lying to me all the time..

i react worse when i find out the truth myself..

and i always hate people who lie to me..

--------------------------------------------------------------------

sexual harassment at work place is still manageable with law and regulations..

peer pressure is worse when everyone thinks they are right and they are the boss..

especially if the whole place is filled with women..

--------------------------------------------------------------------

do you know?

if someone insult or blame you for something you did not do..

the insult and blame will fall back on to the accuser..

do you know why?

eg. if you bought a present to give to someone but that someone refused to accept your present..

to whom does to present belongs to?

same theory..=)

it is the matter of how you see it..

but sometimes we take it so hard just because we treat them as a friend..

and they usually take it for granted..

If you are right then there is no need to get angry
And if you are wrong then you don't have any right to get angry.

------------------------------------------------------------

i had a bad day..

tak pasal-pasal someone "cheat" me into buying a bottle of supplement which cost me RM90..

that someone offered to give me sample but ended up give me a bottle and asked me to pay..

someone scolded me for something which is not my fault..

and i never take the effort to clear myself..

and i ignored because no one will bother also..

they certified penalty means penalty..

if not..it means i am defensive..and stubborn..blah..

wait..i shall wait..karma will come back to them..

chill chill..

ya..and i saw karma hitting on someone who also scolded me when i was trying to be helpful..

wakaka..

shall wait..yes..i am evil..

so what if i am a newcomer..

old doesn't mean you are always right..

hng..

i am not perfect..tell me if i am wrong..

i will always admit if i am wrong..

do tell me nicely..

thank you..

=)

------------ treat others the way you wished to be treated -----------