end of another year..a new beginning..

a little late to do a summary of my year 2011..

but still gonna do it..XD

so basically i started off the year with work work and work..

then fell sick a couple of times and got myself admitted..

viruses loved me so much..

there goes my valentines day, birthday and christmas = to sick days..

pathetic..

went out of malaysia for the first time..

yea..i'm a frog under the shell (direct translation from malay proverb)

went to singapore with family..

(yea..singapore only..not even somewhere further.. >.<)

enter casino for the first time as i am finally legal..

(last visit to somewhere with casino was when i was 17..)

went for paeds posting in another hospital..

was an eye opening experience for me..

seeing how doctors manage in other hospitals..in general hospital..

nursing role in a hospital with in house doctors and etc..

special care for the younger patients..

knowledge is important..

therefore..i enrolled myself in post basic course..

an effort to improve myself and learn more..

landed myself with extended bond too..=/

being the first batch in this course definitely has its negative side..

many things are subjected to changes at the very last minute..

coursemates can be a little nasty in words when it comes to dissatisfaction over the management..

prejudice and buyers over certain issues and etc..

something that i learned to overcome at my own level..

good side of it..i achieved my objective..getting a specialized cert without going somewhere far..no need to wait for long queue for my turn n etc

in fact i achieved more than what i aimed..

to me..this course is a stepping stone to prepare myself for degree..

it requires me to read a lot of journals to complete my assignments..

i do academic writings and touch a little on literature reviews..

after being 'polished' for 6 months..i had to admit i am actually quite comfortable reading journals and summarizing it now..and quoting necessary facts to support my work..

though i still dislike reading pages and pages long journals..hahahah

made new friends throughout the year..

lost some so-called friends who failed to get what they wished from me..

had closer friendship ties with some friends..

had a few hanging by a thin string friendship too..

hurt a number of people that i cared and loved..

made a number of silly mistakes..

spent unnecessarily when under stress and regretted it very very much..

and in the end being teased with no mercy..

earning enough to support myself..

hoping for a better earning..

union..do something la..don't be a sleeping union..

finish reading a whole book..an educational book..new history..

yea..22 years and i never finish reading an educational book before..

story books yes.. XD

read 10-20 over journals to complete AN assignment..*whoa*

typed assignments until i don't feel like touching the keyboard any more..

basically..i did not achieve much..not so healthy and good year for me..

only thing to be happy of is that learned quite a number of new things..

everyday is a learning process..

i am thankful to be able to pass through another year alive..

challenges and obstacles never ends...

got to get myself ready back to work..

finishing my course in 3 weeks time..

and i am gonna miss student life again..

sigh..

holla to a new year..♥

 certain things still got no courage to try.. >.<

 

mosquito d culprit

as lucky as ever..i was down with another virus..

pathetic me..

i had fever for 3-4 days..headache..bony + joint pain for days..

then the typical sign of dengue appeared -> petechiae

(petechiae is red spots all over the body caused by ruptured blood vessels..bleeding under the skin..)

so ya..and i knew it..

BINGO..i got another virus multiplying in my body..

went and see doctor twice..took blood samples twice..

but dengue antigen still negative..

doctor not sure what to do with me..

symptoms persist..fever still there..

so i was admitted..

yup..once early of the year..one end of the year..

=.=

diagnosis for admission was rashes for investigation..

multiple blood test was sent..even external blood test for leptospirosis..(my kl house got rats running around..) chikungunya etc were all sent..

(20-30mls of blood taken?huhu..*painful*)

attending doctor thinks i have measles because i had red spots even on my face..not normal for dengue..

and all my dengue blood test were still negative..

so i was transferred to isolation room..again..this time for precaution..

pretty enjoyed my isolation room stay..lolz..

maybe i like to have my own space and silence when i am sick..

was initially in a 4bedded room 

(i'm only entitled for 4bedded..FOC medical treatment..i'm thankful..)

the noise from visitors and inconsiderate-not-so-sick patient who were watching dramas with loud speaker can be quite annoying..

so it was blessing in disguise i guess..

though i have ugly swollen face with red spots..

i get to have peace for the whole admission in isolation single bed room..with toilet..

wakakkaa..

anyway..in the end..

i was diagnosed with dengue because of my symptoms and liver function went haywire..

on supplement to protect my liver..sigh..

lucky enough to be discharged on christmas eve..

platelet count picked up and i was allowed to go home..

though i know i am not well yet..

still have nose bleed and petechiae but getting less..

red spots on my legs were as though skin of my soon-going-to-heaven-patients which we call it mottling..

*this is not my leg..* colour was something like this but darker more purplish..o.o

thank God it is now over..

still feel lethargic..but i guess i had enough of sleep..

had 2 days MC after discharged..

used it fully to sleep..basically i was awake like only 8-9 hours for that 2 days..hoho..

even on Christmas..

though i was back in ipoh..but too tired to go out with friends..

not that i have forgotten any of them..

so tempted to go out..but i just cant function like normal..

only went out once for makan with parents..

the rest all at home..

sigh.. >.<

---------------------------------------------------------

so this is what i got for christmas this year..

hospitalization + teddy with cookies and candies from friend

a soft soft blanket from colleague..

(no picture..heheh..)

 family time with mom n dad n doggies..

naughty stuart on table..

 all time favourite kai shi hor fun.. XD

and my sweet caramel custard...wee..^.^

facebook..

facebook is a very useful creation by Mark Zuckerberg

we can use it to keep in touch with friends..

get ourselves updated with latest new and happening..

(my friends always post newspaper articles on their page you see..lolz)

get updated on the results of sport games and special events..

share information for learning purpose in between group members..

(Eg: my post basic group page..^.^)

and many many more good use when it is used wisely..

but there are people who also misuse it such as..

post rumours which is for sure not true..

(every known or unknown people in friends list will be able to read and see..words will spread super fast..)

posting some stu*** obscene pictures just for the fun of irritating friends..

(never use cerebral cortex to think how bad it might cause to their friends..naive and silly people..)

and many many very subjective examples..

can't help it but to feel irritated in reading and viewing some unsightly comments and pictures..

some people just never think of consequences when posting so much personal information in this open world of internet..

not trying to say you have no freedom in how you use..

but at least to have a little conscience in what you do..

think twice before posting something unrelated to you..something which maybe private to others..

post your own stuff enough le..don't pull other people go die with you..%$&#

especially when you have a very good functional brains..IQ maybe higher than others..you should be able to use your cerebral cortex to analyze before you do nonsense..

i used to think..how good if all of us are like kids when we don't feel anything about saying the wrong things at the wrong time..just laugh at the error..

(mind you..its error..something you don't know its wrong..not mistake..something that you know its wrong but accidentally made the mistake..got difference there..)

but when i grow up..environment "forced and pushed" me to think before i do something..

i am still learning..and still a long way more to go..i bumped into hard walls and rocky roads a few times before..

cracked my skull and heart a little at times..

but i learned..and try not to repeat..

(thousand apologies to people that i've hurt before..thank you for telling me when i did wrong..your honesty and sharing made me learn..thank you..=))

hurt yourself only is better than hurting everyone else who are innocently being affected by your actions out of sudden...

still belief..karma will come back to all these people..

wait..wait..i shall sit and watch how far you can go..

wakakak..XP

yea..very obvious here that i am not facing the problem right?

not being kind to help out others like how others helped me?

ya ya..i know..

because this few brats are not worth telling..

they only think they are "the only thing" that exist in their world..

waste my saliva to talk only..

so i just "duck" it.. XD

ps : had a very bad day yesterday..all nonsense..but good enough to disturb my emotional balance..lolz..

"today will be better than yesterday"

Firdaus, 2011

lalala..

my life nowadays is so routine..

bound by all these piles of assignment which needs to be handed up soon..

part of me hoping that i can finish this course fast..

part of me wish that this course continues till when i am tired of studying..

hahahha..

i have fear in me..

thinking of the new expectations that my seniors will put on my shoulders when i am back to work..

my own expectations on my ownself..

and many many other things to think of..

please be reasonable in putting expectations on me..

i only have a year of experience..

then i'm out studying for 6 months..

i am still lack of practical experiences..

hahahhaa..

playing tai chi now..

*hua push to the left* don't expect so much from me..

*hua push to the right* i am still junior..

*hua push to front and back* i'm only 22..don't put so much burden on me..

hahhahahahaha..

but i am grateful that i have family who supports me..

friends who loves me..

and people who accept me for who i am..

nothing much to ask for..

=)

i am still praying for people around me to be happy..

friends who are still in their darkness moment of life..

friends who are still trying to overcome their own emotions..

friends who are still struggling to get what they want in life..

may God bless all of them and guide them through their obstacles..

thank you..=)

may my parents and family members be well and good in all ways..

hehehhe

just a little moment for a kind-hearted lady who unknowingly left a foot print in my heart..

to the late ms jasvir..

thank you so much for all the help and guidance throughout my years in college..

your little thoughts and help (such as purposely keeping the pointer every day for me to collect it, preparing laptop for me early in the morning without fail when you know there are external lecturers and etc) really touched me..

giving me suggestions when i have doubts..

you never fail to smile and make me smile too..

your departure is so sudden that many of us just can't accept it..

whether there was an negligence or not..

it doesn't matter..

i believe everything has a reason behind it..

the little dream i had on the day after i visited you gave me a big relief

whether it was subconsciously my hope or whether its real..

i just hope that you are happy and peaceful now..

may you rest in peace..

thank you for everything you have done..

midnight randomness

after so long since i last update my blog..

this is gonna be compilation of a few random thoughts at this moment..

i was pretty busy with assignments and posting for the past 1 month..

been rushing all my assignments as date due was changed last minute and a few unexpected events that happened..

when i was rushing my assignments with class mates..

i came to realized..plagiarism is really a big big issue..

may be i am a little blunt and "yat lok mok" in this context..

but it seriously did not come to me that 

copy paste assignment = my assignment..

sound so weird right?

how can i take credit of other people's work as mine?

but for some people..its perfectly alright and good..

some even think it's a smart choice to do it..

seriously i just dont feel its right and i dont get any satisfaction out of doing the assignment..

sigh...

worse thing is..some people who plagiarize dont even know how to plagiarize properly..

direct copy paste and only from one source and just hand the assignment in...

sigh..

----------------------------------------------------

some superbug invaded my immune system again..

sometimes i felt like i am an old auntie who keep seeing doctor and get admitted few times a year..

hahaha..

no i did not get myself admitted again..don't worry..

just fell sick after some home-spread-virus among housemates..hahaha

so i am down again..

bad year for my health..

=/

-------------------------------------------------

i realized there are few super drug which cures symptoms immediately..

hahaha..i just love them now..

for any allergic reaction or rashes..IV hydrocortisone 200mg will be perfect..

rashes will subside within a minute or 2..

awesome..

next..Voltaren suppositories..

cure fever with body aches and all very well..a suppository is good enough to subside all the symptom and reduce temperature within 10-20minutes..

super awesome..

ahahhaha..

-----------------------------------------------

nursing..its about saving people's life and helping the sick going through tough time..

every patient who come to the hospital do not expect to be admitted and what more be potential to leave the hospital through a back door(mortuary)..

all they have in mind is just..i go to the hospital because i dont feel well and need medical attention..

some patients may come with 50-50 chances of survival because of their medical condition..

they came to us with fate and entire life in our hands..

(not only nurses..doctors too..but in this context focus more on nurses)

we are the eyes, the ears and the mouth for the patients..

we are trained to advocate what patient need and do our best to protect our patient's benefit..

but why do some nurses forget this fact?

is paper work that important?is your patient who have changes in breathing pattern not important for you?

deterioration of condition does not happen in a minute or two..

not all patient is that critical like in icu where the next moment everything change..

research have shown that majority of collapse patients has significant changes in the vital signs and general condition 8 hours before the collapse..

but why nobody detect any of it?

sad to say and see..

poor assessment..poor management..negligence..

if nurses have treat patient with more passion and care like their own blood relation..

all this will not happen..

every patient deserve a chance of living like any other human..

we are given a pair of hands to save lives and not to be murderer..

always do no harm to patients..

*very sad over a few incidents..=(*

--------------------------------------------------

please appreciate people around us..

life is short and nobody can predict the future..

what if i sleep today and never wake up tomorrow?

life is unpredictable..

i sound so old at times..

maybe i am too exposed to life and death..

seeing people who miss their chance to fulfill their love one's living wish..

seeing people who regret not treating their love one well when they are still around..

all this makes me appreciate what i have..

my approach and opinion towards death also change totally..

seriously..appreciate and treat everyone well as you may not know what will happen tomorrow..

whOa..

you know what?

friends can treat you nicely when they need your help..

when they need a shoulder to cry on..people to listen to problems..

friends can be the best of people to hang out with when everything sails smoothly..

(just a general statement..i know there are real true friends who exist..=] )

friends can give you happiness and create a lot of memories in your life..

but 

friends can also insult you when they just don't like you going against their wishes and request..

(some horrible silly childish stupid request..=.=")

friends can also get angry just because you have other friends to attend to..out of jealousy..>.<

(btw..you don't own me..no one own me..)

friends can also give silent cold treatment when they have PMS or after a bad day..

friends can also scold you for minor things which "no-matter-how-much-you-try-to-think-how-it-is-related-to-them-but-fail" which they use as a reason to scold you..

friends can literally step on your self-confidence and "dominate" you mentally..

if you allow it to happen..

friends can do wonders to an individual..

colleagues can be the best people who understands your work stress and people at work..

colleagues can be people who help you out when you have heavy workloads..

colleagues can be your best of friends..

but..

colleagues can also be selfish enough to 'snatch' opportunities from you..

colleagues can also be people who step on your back in order to move up..

colleagues can also be people who make your day miserably miserable by being a dictator..

whoa..

human can be so ugly right?

hahahahah
sigh..suddenly sounds like there is no hope in the world..everyone is so fake..

hahahhaa

i'm actually aware of all the above long long time ago..

there are real friends and fake friends around everyone's life..

it is just that whether their mask still intact on their face or not..

and whether that someone realize the presence of the mask or not..

=/

sad to admit..i know who is true and who is fake..who is selfish..who is honest and can be trusted..

people might say i am silly to still treat them well..

i chose to accept them for who they are..

everyone is unique in their own way..

sigh..

disappointed and speechless..

sigh..

the most important thing..

thank you and buck off if you ever have the thought to control me like your puppet..

i am chew cheng im..

the one and only chew cheng im who have a limit in tolerating nonsense from freako..

yay!!

today my life begins

Bruno Mars - today my life begins..

not a new song..but a song i'm currently into..hehehe

somehow sing-a-long with d lyrics made me think and flashed back few things..

=)